Adam Urbanski, who is known as the Marketing Mentor, gave a powerful demonstration about how something learned in childhood can linger on and affect your behavior as an adult.

Before reading his demonstration, here is a question to set the scene:

 Do you remember hearing your school teachers tell you, “Eyes on your own paper” or “No asking for help”?

Every child learns that asking for help is cheating. While this makes sense when you’re talking about a math test, you probably decided that asking for help is not all right.

You carried this message through your childhood into adulthood.

You’re wondering, “How can you know that about me?”

Adam’s demonstration is living proof.

At a seminar for business owners, Adam Urbanski asked people to write down as many marketing ideas in 3 minutes as they could. At every table, the scratch of pens and rapid click-click of keys sounded throughout the room.

At the end of the 3 minutes, he said, “I notice that nobody asked for ideas from the other people at your table.” He paused, letting the message dawn on people, then he added,

“I never said you couldn’t ask for help.”

True. After all, this wasn’t a school spelling test. Yet, people are so accustomed to being expected to figure things out for yourself that you take the trait to the extreme.

Is it hard for you to ask for help?

I’m about to tell tales on myself, because you might be doing the same thing to yourself.

Thinking about how hard it was for me to ask for help made it the perfect thought for the day.

As a child with what society calls a disability, I hated asking for help. 

I am mostly blind and have been since birth. Born on US Independence Day, it’s no wonder I have a strong independence streak.

Like any character trait, being a self-starter has many good points. But it can be a double-edged sword.

growing up mostly blind, I quickly learned that anyone outside the family considered me to be “less than” anyone else simply because of what they perceived to be a disability.

I hated having to ask for help. I wanted to figure out how to do whatever needed doing on my own. I had to prove I was just as capable as a sighted person.

People tend to close their eyes and then decide they couldn’t do whatever it is without sight, so therefore it can’t b done.

That’s like saying that because I can’t walk a tightrope, nobody can.

My strong will serves me well even to this day, because I am innovative and creative. However, I had to learn an important lesson about asking for help.

While I would never want to assume I can’t do something, I finally realized that I could be independent and also ask for help.

Believe me when I say this was a hard-learned lesson that took me years to figure out.

Do you believe asking for help is cheating?

Maybe the same person who inspired me will inspire you!

Inspiration from Ford

The great automotive pioneer Ford’s lesson is a powerful one.

Ford did not know everything about cars. He was not highly educated. Many people did not expect him to succeed, but he had a powerful asset. He knew his strengths.

Ford gathered a team of experts in various fields and industries around him. Whenever he needed to know something about any subject, he knew exactly whom to ask.

This habit left Ford free to work from his strength.

Work from Your Strength

My friend Devon Brown, the Success renegade, knows his strengths. He is brilliant making videos and taking action. He freely admits that he doesn’t know how to do the technical stuff.

Devon has people on his team to do the techie stuff. He has the ability to clearly state the outcome he wants from a piece of software. He leaves the programmers to make it happen.

he has enough familiarity with technology to know how to say what he needs done. And this is key.

because there is a difference between working from your strength and giving up your power entirely.

Gather people whose strengths are your weaknesses and whose weaknesses are your strengths, and you have a winning combination.

You may be wondering,

How can I learn to ask for help without feeling like I’m cheating?

Here are some things you can do to start feeling empowered when asking for help:

Honestly evaluate your own character strengths and weaknesses. You are not doing this to beat yourself up but to make the most of the best aspects of yourself.

Evaluate your skills. Know where you are capable and where you need someone strong where you are weak.

Find people who are effortlessly good in the areas that are uncomfortable or difficult for you.

Decide it’s easy to ask for help, and you’ll notice that it truly can be! The decision of easy VS hard is all in your head, so why not choose easy?

Notice the strengths and abilities of people around you. Appreciate them without comparing yourself against them.

Notice anytime you use words like should or but. These words are alarm bells that you are judging yourself.

Appreciate your own strengths without adding “but I’m not” to it.

Build a Power Team around you so that you, like Ford, know exactly whom to consult with various issues.

Notice how much easier things flow for you when you gain the support of others who are strong where you are weak.

How about a fun way to build a Power Team around you?

When you take The 21–day “I AM a Gift to the World!” Challenge, you will accept 7 secret missions that ask you to celebrate certain key people around you.

As you participate in the challenge, you might even start building your team of awesome people whom you can consult.

You’ll find The 21–Day “I AM a Gift to the World!” Challenge at www.ProfitableStorytelling.com/iamagift

See you there!

Follow Your Bliss!

Ronda Del Boccio, The Story Lady

#1 Bestselling Author of The Peace Seed, Personal and Global Transformation through Storytelling

Author of 5 books and counting...

The Instant VIP: Insider Secrets to Fame, Freedom and Fulfillment as an Expert Author

When Assassins and Allies Conspire: Visionary Tales, Vol. 1

That Was Easy: The Busy Business Owner's Guide for How to Write a Book Fast

I'll Push You Steer: The Definitive Guide to Stumbling through Life with Blinders On.

For a complete list of my books in their various formats, visit my Amazon.com Profile

and the 90 minute DVD Training Story Power

********************************

Ronda Del Boccio is a transformational speaker, mentor and author known globally as The Story Lady because she teaches authors, entrepreneurs and business owners to easily connect with your ideal customers and contacts through the power of your story.

She is the author of numerous stories, poems, and articles, as well as her books I’ll Push You Steer, and other upcoming books.

Disclosures

P. S. The day you were born, the whole UNIVERSE celebrated! Take FREE The 21-day "I AM a Gift to the World!" Challenge

Just click the banner or www.ProfitableStorytelling.com/iamagift !

Like this post? Buy Ronda a latte!

When you want to surround yourself with positive people, messages and experiences, what can you do?

Imagine you’re at work looking at your computer screen a lot. Imagine having positive messages scroll in the background, delivering messages like these…

You can do it!

You are witty and intelligent.

Your mind is sharp and focused.

The whole universe is conspiring for your good.

That’s what you get with the Affirmation Ticker, which you can see in action at http://profitablestorytelling.com/ticker

Check this out…

Follow Your Bliss!

Ronda Del Boccio, The Story Lady

#1 Bestselling Author of The Peace Seed, Personal and Global Transformation through Storytelling

Author of 5 books and counting...

The Instant VIP: Insider Secrets to Fame, Freedom and Fulfillment as an Expert Author

When Assassins and Allies Conspire: Visionary Tales, Vol. 1

That Was Easy: The Busy Business Owner's Guide for How to Write a Book Fast

I'll Push You Steer: The Definitive Guide to Stumbling through Life with Blinders On.

For a complete list of my books in their various formats, visit my Amazon.com Profile

and the 90 minute DVD Training Story Power

********************************

Ronda Del Boccio is a transformational speaker, mentor and author known globally as The Story Lady because she teaches authors, entrepreneurs and business owners to easily connect with your ideal customers and contacts through the power of your story.

She is the author of numerous stories, poems, and articles, as well as her books I’ll Push You Steer, and other upcoming books.

Disclosures

P. S. The day you were born, the whole UNIVERSE celebrated! Take FREE The 21-day "I AM a Gift to the World!" Challenge

Just click the banner or www.ProfitableStorytelling.com/iamagift !

Like this post? Buy Ronda a latte!

Writing is a powerful way to discover what is going on in the deepest recesses of your spirit. It could even help you break a habit.

Stewing VS Writing

It’s amazing how different it is to let yourself write about your experience as compared to simply mulling things over in your head.

Just stewing, mulling, or mentally going through things in your mind often brings no change in the emotion. No resolution. No shift.

Here’s a story about one of the many wonderful people in life. I’ll call her Amy, and she may be a lot like you.

 Amy’s String of Bad Breakups

After her latest heart-wrenching breakup, which was the worst ever for her, Amy said, “Why is it I always end up with a guy who’s bad for me?”

Have YOU ever asked a question like that, either to yourself or a friend?

Certainly, there is no one answer for everyone. All Amy knows now is that she feels awful. She may not even realize there is a pattern she has the power to break.

But inherent in the way she asked, with her voice full of angst, is self-loathing,

Unfortunately, Amy invests energy into emotionally beating herself up, but she could choose to focus on breaking the habit.

Chances are excellent that nobody will be harder on you than YOU.

What Amy said next revealed just how much she was beating herself up emotionally about what she calls her bad luck with men.

Amy said, “ I must be exceptionally stupid.”

What a hurtful thing to say about yourself!

How about putting this into a different perspective.

Psst!

have you ever tried getting someone’s attention?

You start with a whisper.

If that doesn’t work, you speak up.

If that doesn’t work, you tap the person or speak louder.

Hey!

If that doesn’t work, you may shout, jump up and down or take the person by the shoulder.

You will keep doing things more forcefully until you capture the person’s attention, right?

That’s how the universe or God works.

Amy didn’t get the message the first couple times she had the same experience, so she had some even worse ones to capture her attention.

There’s a reason so many different traditions speak of God as a “still, small voice” or something similar.

The idea is that you first get the message softly.

If you don’t pay attention, you get a louder message.

If you still don’t listen, the message gets louder and louder until you finally decide to change something.

You have to be still and present to catch the message the first time.

Given all this, you might be wondering if you’re stupid, slow or otherwise damaged for not getting the softer message.

No! You are NOT damaged goods. You are not stupid. You are simply receiving messages that can actually show you the key to changing the pattern until you get the message. Plain and simple.

Life is about learning and growing.

As you become more observant, you will discover that you catch the lesson sooner, before the universe has to shout to get your attention.

So rather than stewing and chewing over things in your mind, now you can write.

Write all your feelings

Write the patterns you notice.

Write a plan to make any changes you choose to make.

The Power of Writing

Writing your observations is an excellent way to get past the habit and break its hold on you.

Flow –  Let your thoughts flow. Write freely.

No need to edit.

Gentle –  Be gentle with yourself.

Love –  Show yourself love. You are a cherished creation!

The question Amy asked about why she has this habit is a good one.

However, asking from a place of love, or at least from neutral, is a powerful starting place.

The test –  Be your own friend.  If a good friend treated herself or himself the way you are treating yourself, would that feel right?

 Facing the Blank Page

Perhaps facing a blank page leaves you feeling uneasy.

Journal writing prompts can help you start.

Prompts help you ask good questions, move through the emotions and enter a journey of self discovery.

Useful journal writing prompts to break a habit

Here are some good questions to get you started.

What is the pattern I observe?

What am I trying to gain?

What is the most loving thing I can do right now?

Write on Purpose!

There is a program that guides you along a path of self discovery and personal transformation called Write On Purpose.

You receive a dozen kinds of writing prompts to guide you through different situations, such as

• overcoming signs of stress,
• moving through stages of grief, and
• creating the life of your dreams.

You also receive a powerful teaching in both audio and written form to support you along your journey. You can write in your very own Personal Transformation Zone that is uniquely and especially yours. This is your private arena to cut out all distractions and be with yourself.

Additionally you become part of a community of other people who enjoy writing for self discovery, personal transformation and self expression.

Claim this package and get started right away at www.askTSL.com/wop.

Follow Your Bliss!

Ronda Del Boccio, The Story Lady

#1 Bestselling Author of The Peace Seed, Personal and Global Transformation through Storytelling

Author of 5 books and counting...

The Instant VIP: Insider Secrets to Fame, Freedom and Fulfillment as an Expert Author

When Assassins and Allies Conspire: Visionary Tales, Vol. 1

That Was Easy: The Busy Business Owner's Guide for How to Write a Book Fast

I'll Push You Steer: The Definitive Guide to Stumbling through Life with Blinders On.

For a complete list of my books in their various formats, visit my Amazon.com Profile

and the 90 minute DVD Training Story Power

********************************

Ronda Del Boccio is a transformational speaker, mentor and author known globally as The Story Lady because she teaches authors, entrepreneurs and business owners to easily connect with your ideal customers and contacts through the power of your story.

She is the author of numerous stories, poems, and articles, as well as her books I’ll Push You Steer, and other upcoming books.

Disclosures

P. S. The day you were born, the whole UNIVERSE celebrated! Take FREE The 21-day "I AM a Gift to the World!" Challenge

Just click the banner or www.ProfitableStorytelling.com/iamagift !

Like this post? Buy Ronda a latte!

Writing is a powerful way to discover what is going on in the deepest recesses of your spirit. It could even help you break a habit.

Stewing VS Writing

It’s amazing how different it is to let yourself write about your experience as compared to simply mulling things over in your head.

Just stewing, mulling, or mentally going through things in your mind often brings no change in the emotion. No resolution. No shift.

Here’s a story about one of the many wonderful people in life. I’ll call her Amy, and she may be a lot like you.

 Amy’s String of Bad Breakups

After her latest heart-wrenching breakup, which was the worst ever for her, Amy said, “Why is it I always end up with a guy who’s bad for me?”

Have YOU ever asked a question like that, either to yourself or a friend?

Certainly, there is no one answer for everyone. All Amy knows now is that she feels awful. She may not even realize there is a pattern she has the power to break.

But inherent in the way she asked, with her voice full of angst, is self-loathing,

Unfortunately, Amy invests energy into emotionally beating herself up, but she could choose to focus on breaking the habit.

Chances are excellent that nobody will be harder on you than YOU.

What Amy said next revealed just how much she was beating herself up emotionally about what she calls her bad luck with men.

Amy said, “ I must be exceptionally stupid.”

What a hurtful thing to say about yourself!

How about putting this into a different perspective.

Psst!

have you ever tried getting someone’s attention?

You start with a whisper.

If that doesn’t work, you speak up.

If that doesn’t work, you tap the person or speak louder.

Hey!

If that doesn’t work, you may shout, jump up and down or take the person by the shoulder.

You will keep doing things more forcefully until you capture the person’s attention, right?

That’s how the universe or God works.

Amy didn’t get the message the first couple times she had the same experience, so she had some even worse ones to capture her attention.

There’s a reason so many different traditions speak of God as a “still, small voice” or something similar.

The idea is that you first get the message softly.

If you don’t pay attention, you get a louder message.

If you still don’t listen, the message gets louder and louder until you finally decide to change something.

You have to be still and present to catch the message the first time.

Given all this, you might be wondering if you’re stupid, slow or otherwise damaged for not getting the softer message.

No! You are NOT damaged goods. You are not stupid. You are simply receiving messages that can actually show you the key to changing the pattern until you get the message. Plain and simple.

Life is about learning and growing.

As you become more observant, you will discover that you catch the lesson sooner, before the universe has to shout to get your attention.

So rather than stewing and chewing over things in your mind, now you can write.

Write all your feelings

Write the patterns you notice.

Write a plan to make any changes you choose to make.

The Power of Writing

Writing your observations is an excellent way to get past the habit and break its hold on you.

Flow –  Let your thoughts flow. Write freely.

No need to edit.

Gentle –  Be gentle with yourself.

Love –  Show yourself love. You are a cherished creation!

The question Amy asked about why she has this habit is a good one.

However, asking from a place of love, or at least from neutral, is a powerful starting place.

The test –  Be your own friend.  If a good friend treated herself or himself the way you are treating yourself, would that feel right?

 Facing the Blank Page

Perhaps facing a blank page leaves you feeling uneasy.

Journal writing prompts can help you start.

Prompts help you ask good questions, move through the emotions and enter a journey of self discovery.

Useful journal writing prompts to break a habit

Here are some good questions to get you started.

What is the pattern I observe?

What am I trying to gain?

What is the most loving thing I can do right now?

Write on Purpose!

There is a program that guides you along a path of self discovery and personal transformation called Write On Purpose.

You receive a dozen kinds of writing prompts to guide you through different situations, such as

• overcoming signs of stress,
• moving through stages of grief, and
• creating the life of your dreams.

You also receive a powerful teaching in both audio and written form to support you along your journey. You can write in your very own Personal Transformation Zone that is uniquely and especially yours. This is your private arena to cut out all distractions and be with yourself.

Additionally you become part of a community of other people who enjoy writing for self discovery, personal transformation and self expression.

Claim this package and get started right away at www.askTSL.com/wop.

Follow Your Bliss!

Ronda Del Boccio, The Story Lady

#1 Bestselling Author of The Peace Seed, Personal and Global Transformation through Storytelling

Author of 5 books and counting...

The Instant VIP: Insider Secrets to Fame, Freedom and Fulfillment as an Expert Author

When Assassins and Allies Conspire: Visionary Tales, Vol. 1

That Was Easy: The Busy Business Owner's Guide for How to Write a Book Fast

I'll Push You Steer: The Definitive Guide to Stumbling through Life with Blinders On.

For a complete list of my books in their various formats, visit my Amazon.com Profile

and the 90 minute DVD Training Story Power

********************************

Ronda Del Boccio is a transformational speaker, mentor and author known globally as The Story Lady because she teaches authors, entrepreneurs and business owners to easily connect with your ideal customers and contacts through the power of your story.

She is the author of numerous stories, poems, and articles, as well as her books I’ll Push You Steer, and other upcoming books.

Disclosures

P. S. The day you were born, the whole UNIVERSE celebrated! Take FREE The 21-day "I AM a Gift to the World!" Challenge

Just click the banner or www.ProfitableStorytelling.com/iamagift !

Like this post? Buy Ronda a latte!

The day you were born, the whole universe celebrated, because each person who takes on physical form and becomes a part of this particular playground has special gifts to offer.

I love celebrating birthdays with people, because it’s a fun time to stop and recognize how you touch the people around you.

So I decided to begin a Birthday Club.

The Story Lady’s Birthday Club Benefits

The Birthday club is FREE to join.

All you need to do is give me your real full name, address on webpage I’ll give you in a moment.

You receive a tangible card in your real mail box with an actual STAMP on it for your birthday.

You may even get a surprise on one of your 364 un-birthdays.

And I will also help you send 1 free customized, beautiful greeting to a family member, friend, colleague or loved one of your choice.

Ready?

WAIT –Before you join!

If you sign up during January, 2011, you can win prizes in the Extend Your Reach Contest at www.ProfitableStorytelling.com/contest.

Your Contest Username:
(click here if you are not )
Loading your Contest Links 

Email Address:

Here’s how to join FREE

1. Just go to www.ProfitableStorytelling.com/birthday right now.
2. Put the password into the field. The password is : please
3. Complete the form with valid information.
4. Confirm your intention by clicking a link you’ll receive via email.

That’s it!

I will get your card to you for your birthday!

You can even share your spouse’s birthday so I can send him or her a card.

I Celebrate YOU!

Follow Your Bliss!

Ronda Del Boccio, The Story Lady

#1 Bestselling author with 5 books & counting.

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Contest powered by: ContestBurner.

“Don’t look back. Leave it all on the track!”

Inspirational Quotes from the movie Racing Stripes.

I watched a movie recently that made me think of you—the success-minded person striving toward fulfilling your dream.

The movie is called Racing Stripes. I want you to rent that movie as soon as you finish reading this post! Because you will have a good time and have a dose of courage at the same time.

racing Stripes is about a zebra who watches horses run and yearns to run on the track with them. Naturally, he is faced with a number of obstacles, including the fact that most of the world thinks he’s weird and different and doesn’t deserve to be among their lofty selves.

Yet Stripes cannot lay aside his dream. Running is in his heart. I know you feel that way about your own passion. You couldn’t set it aside for long even if you tried, right?

Stripes’ coach tells him, “Don’t look back. Leave it all on the track!” It’s not until Stripes is truly tested beyond his limits that he learns exactly what that means.

And everyone who is writing a book, starting a business, or creating any lasting legacy is just like Stripes. You’ll be tested beyond endurance. You’ll face obstacle after obstacle…

What do you do?

What do you do when you’ve trained and trained for something—whether that “something” is running a business or running a race—and you’re there on that Big Day…

You’ve poured your time and energy into this moment. You’ve sacrificed so much to get here to this defining moment.

And somewhere in the middle of that race or that product creation or that launch or whatever your Big Moment is, you get tired.

You get so tired from all the effort, and you don’t know if you can make it. You get shaky and exhausted, and probably your “monkey brain” starts spitting out things like, “You’ll never make it.” “It’s OK to give up. You Tried.” You could wish for some inspirational thoughts to pull you through at that moment, but you’re too tired to muster them up out of nowhere.

Scott Sharp Armstrong, my good friend, colleague and mastermind partner, faced just such a moment running a marathon… Scott is the author of Boston Marathon or Bust and the Best Affirmations Handbook..

It happened around mile 19 of the 26 miles. He didn’t think he had it in him.

He said, “The wheels fell off the bus…” Here’s what happened next…

When you’re tired—when doubts creep in..those are the moments of golden opportunity. You can choose your own outcome.

The difference between giving up and winning your own mental game comes from your decision. You can let your mind talk to you and cause you to give up, OR—

You can decide to be the one who talks to your brain. And if like Scott you’ve practiced ahead of the Big Moment (which you definitely need to) then it will be easier to throw down a stream of inspirational thoughts and positive messages that fortify your courage..

Because it is courage you will need when you’re pushing beyond all imagining and forcing yourself to move through the pain, challenges and other difficulties you face.

You can’t practice overcoming obstacles when you’re facing a mountain. You want to support your courage and fortitude every day in little ways.

Here are some ideas to get you started.

1. Write a long list of positive “I am” statements you can use, such as…

• “I am strong.”
• “I can do it!”
• “have the power!”
• “I overcome all obstacles.”
• “I am a winner!”

2. You can put these around your house, repeat them to yourself and get used to telling yourself these things every day.

3. Use a voice recorder, your cell phone (which probably has one) or a free program like Audacity to record your own voice saying these things so you get used to hearing yourself in your own voice saying them.

4. Stop watching the news, because bad news is negativity.

Resource

I absolutely love Best Affirmations Workbook,which I call the 30 Day training program for your mind. You get a simple lesson to do each day that takes only a few minutes. You’ll train yourself and get practice. It’s very affordable,

Give yourself the gift of the Best Affirmations Workbook at ProfitableStorytelling.com/affirmations

flu

When I was a kid, my parents gave me an elf doll that had a soft body and braided string for legs. I had the best time making that elf dance.  It looked a little bit like what I’m about to show you…

This is a little holiday cheer for you today! I got together (virtually) with my friend Gina Gaudio Graves, the JV Queen, host of Relationship Marketing 101 Radio,  to bring you a very special dance.

I bet you never knew I could dance like this!

No matter what you celebrate during the winter season, I wish you joyful holidays this year and always.

A HUGE thank-you to Office Max and Jig-Jab for Elf Yorself!

Follow your bliss.

Ronda

For anyone grieving the death of a loved one, the holidays can be tough. Military families remembering their fallen warrior have an especially difficult time. Though military wives and husbands know the dangers their spouses put themselves into, that doesn’t make the loss any easier.

Grieving does not end after the funeral, and you go through various stages of grief. What if there were a tool

The Today Show ran a wonderful story about a girl from Texas named Kaylee Roberts who wrote a letter that changed her life.

Kaylee’s dad Kasey died in Afghanistan in spring of 2008, and Christmas has never been the same since, because her family still grieves the loss.

So Kaylee wrote a letter to “Decorated Family”, a program that provides decorations for military families to ease their grieving and help them get into the holiday spirit.

The letter Kaylee wrote was so touching that it attracted the attention of her local WalMart AND the Today Show.

Watch the video of the segment and stick with me, because I have a gift I would like to offer Kaylee and her family that will help her develop her already significant writing skills.

First, see the transformative power of writing…

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

As you saw in the video, Kaylee’s powerful letter and her desire to bring back cheer for her family have not only changed their lives, but also touched millions more through the media.

That’s nice for Kaylee, but what about YOU?

How Can Writing Help You Work Through the Stages of Grief?

Writing is a beautiful way to remember all the times you shared with your loved one who has died. It is also an excellent tool to work through your emotions.

Let me briefly share the stages a person goes through when grieving a major loss. (This happens with the death of a person, of course, and it can also happen with any major life event).

Psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identified 5 stages of grief, which are as follows:

Stages of Grief

The progression of stages is:^[2]

1. Denial – “I feel fine.”; “This can’t be happening, not to me.”
   Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of positions and individuals that will be left behind after death.
2. Anger – “Why me? It’s not fair!”; “How can this happen to me?”; “Who is to blame?”
   Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Any individual that symbolizes life or energy is subject to projected resentment and jealousy.
3. Bargaining – “Just let me live to see my children graduate.”; “I’ll do anything for a few more years.”; “I will give my life savings if…”
   The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, “I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time…”
4. Depression – “I’m so sad, why bother with anything?”; “I’m going to die… What’s the point?”; “I miss my loved one, why go on?”
   During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect oneself from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
5. Acceptance – “It’s going to be okay.”; “I can’t fight it, I may as well prepare for it.”
   In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with his mortality or that of his loved one.

As you well know, grief isn’t always “pretty.”

Sure –  Sometimes you remember the good times, the quirky habits, and the memorable moments. These memories make you smile, laugh and feel good along with the melancholy.

Other times, however, you feel overcome with sadness, grief, anger or other strong emotions. You may feel emotions so strong and so “unlike you” that you hardly know what to do.

Yes, those are all part of the stages of grief.

Whether you decide to go through any sort of counseling or not, there are things you can do for yourself and for your family to help get you through the grieving. (Note I’m not saying “get over it” –  but get through it.)

Journaling Writing about them in a journal or even a file on your computer is incredibly powerful.

Let your feelings out. Don’t hold back, no matter how strong, how “ugly” or how overwhelming they seem to you. Remember, emotions come and go. Don’t deny any feeling or say it shouldn’t be there. Simply allow yourself to feel it and then allow that emotion to shift, as it most definitely will.

Resource

Write on Purpose has more than a dozen ways to use writing as a tool for everything from stress relief to self-expression to moving through powerful emotions to  personal transformation. The package includes a bunch of useful and fun tools. You get an audio teaching which includes myself with The TallTrees in which we talk about the power of writing.

You also receive your own personal Transformation Zone, which has the various activities and tools I mentioned earlier. Plus, you  have access to a community of people who all love to write.

Through the end of 2010, the Write on Purpose package is 20 percent off.

Claim it now at WriteOnPurpose.com.