Patterns can reveal a lot, but first you have to see the pattern.

I met a woman named Jan on one of my trips. We met in an airport during a long flight delay, and immediately it became clear to me that she  loved kids a lot. This was not a feat of psychic power; she simply talked about everything the children around us were doing. Jan said she and her husband had just started trying for children. As I chatted with her, I began to notice a pattern.

Jan clearly enjoyed talking about other people’s children,but w

hen I asked her “What activities do you plan to do with yours?” or a similar question, I noticed some tell-tale signs of stress.

She would pause and then speak in a way that sounded pinched or strained. Her words were vague and lacking the spark of passion I had previously observed. Her breathing sped up and her palms sweat (which I knew because she rubbed them on her pants legs.

“You seem to be having some incredible mommy jitters,” I observed.

“Oh no! I LOVE kids and can’t wait to have some of my own.” her words tumbled out on a torrent of breath. She reminded me of a cornered animal.

“Do you notice what’s happening to you as you talk about having children of your own?”

“What do you mean?” Jan asked.

“Your breathing is fast and shallow. Your voice has gone up an octave. You’re practically hyperventilating yourself. Your eyes are wide. Your palms are sweaty. Those are all signs of stress.”

Jan truly does love children and want some of her own, however, she was experiencing anxiety. After a few minutes, she told me, “I don’t want to turn out like my mom.”

The plane would not leave for a couple hours and I felt a prompting to share a way to help her. “Jan, would you be willing to try an experiment? To play with something?”

She paused and I felt her watching me. “What kind of experiment?”

“Well, we’re not going anywhere for a while and I have an idea that might be helpful for you, if you’re willing to play with it.” She was game, so I suggested that she respond to a writing prompt I gave her that might uncover the source of her stress so she could deal with it. “This is not a form of therapy, and I’m not asking you to reveal anything you write to me or to anyone else unless you choose to on your own.”

I explained to her that in my own experience, Writing can be a tremendous source of stress relief.

And that brings you right back to the question that began this post.

How Can Writing Help You overcome Signs of Stress?

I asked Jan to have a written dialogue with her anxiety over raising children. I told her what to do. “You’ll find it’s easier than you might imagine. Just let whatever comes out come out. No editing. No judgment. Just write whatever comes.”

I left Jan to her writing and listened to some music. After a while, she came up to me and hugged me. “I never imagined your suggestion was going to be helpful.”

“I’m glad you gave it a chance. Would you like to say something about your experience?”

“I finally got to the root of what worried me, and I realized it was just my perception and not something real. I feel like a whole new person.”

Having a dialogue with your feelings is indeed a powerful way to get to the heart of any situation or perception. It is one of the activities in the Write On Purpose Program, which you’ll can start using right now at www.WriteOnPurpose.com.

Write on Purpose has a dozen different writing activities that guide you through things like overcoming fears, dealing with the signs of stress and finding fun new ways to express yourself.

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